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...IN A RIGHT-HANDED WORLD
Ask yourself this question. How many times have we heard the line "It looks like the WWE might finally give the cruiserweight division a chance" in the last year or so? We heard it when Smackdown became it's own entity during the brand extension. We actually believed it when Rey Misterio debuted on WWE television. We considered it when they signed Nunzio and Spanky. We thought it may be possible when Ultimo Dragon's vignettes prepared us for him.
Now, once again, there is talk that maybe, just maybe, the WWE Smackdown bookers will got off their collective rears and create the incredible cruiserweight division we all know has potential. Rey Misterio vs. Billy Kidman looks probable for Summerslam, the second biggest WWE Pay-Per-View of the year. So, for the tenth time in so many months...or is it eleventh...fans of fast-paced, flowing and innovative wrestling sit and wait for a miracle to happen.
I am amoung them.
Cruiserweights can do so very much for wrestling that it boggles my mind when I wonder why Vince McMahon hasn't fully tapped the great resources of that division to catapault Smackdown into the quality show we know it can be. It's often said that the WWE is the Land of the Giants. Big men are given special treatment. Anyone under six feet tall better be something special or they will not go very far.
Yet, this mentality of "wrestling fans generally want big wrestlers" does not have much bearing in reality. One of WCW greatest aspects was it's plethora of cruiserweights. Yes, yes. I know. Everyone will claim that the New World Order angle was what really captivated viewers into watching Nitro week after week, but that is short-sighted, at best. It is tantamount to arguing "Stone Cold" Steve Austin single-handedly saved the old WWF without giving credit to Shawn Michaels' D-Generation X, Mick Foley's sacrifices and The Undertaker's long-term loyalty to the company.
Back to WCW, cruiserweights grabbed the attention of the fans of actual wrestling. I remember first hearing of them many years ago. Another wrestling fan walked up to me and said "You should see Nitro. These guys were doing some crazy moves!" I wish I had started following it immediately rather than waiting a little while and having to buy tapes of Rey Misterio and Chris Jericho years later.
More recently, cruiserweight wrestling is flourishing in the National Wrestling Alliance's Total Non-Stop Action program. The eye-rollingly titled "TNA" features the cruiserweight style (that's style, not weight) prominently in their weekly Pay-Per-View show. In fact, it can be argued that the NWA fans pay their money to watch those matches (titled X-Division) more than they Heavyweight Championship match. Anyone who has seen AJ Styles, Low-Ki or Amazing Red in action understands the value of today's modern cruiserweights.
The WWE, on the other hand, pays little attention to them. Rather than giving us beautiful (and preferrably lengthy) cruiserweight title matches on Smackdown and the brand's Pay-Per-Views, we are only rarely given the opportunity to watch these talented wrestlers show their skills.
The statistics don't lie...
I will not count Bad Blood, considering it was Raw-specific or the England-based PPVs, considering the lack of attention. Only five of the last twelve main WWE Pay-Per-Views have showcased the cruiserweight title. Even the first Smackdown-only PPV didn't have a true cruiserweight match, despite the inclusion of Kidman, Misterio and Noble. The bookers won't even let them break the 50% barrier. Absolutely, positively ridiculous.
Another point that's noticeable when reviewing the cruiserweight matches on PPV is that only four individual wrestlers are featured in all of those matches combined. If what we have been seeing lately on Smackdown is any indication, two of the aforementioned grapplers (Kidman and Misterio) will be featured in the next PPV offerring. The WWE has a huge talent pool of cruiserweights, and most of them haven't seen a real feud in a long time...
Jamie Noble. Quite possibly the most charasmatic cruiserweight on Smackdown. I like to call Noble "Eddie Guerrero Light." A wrestler who has great technical abilities, can fly high when he wants and even knows how to speak in front of a crowd. So, what is the WWE doing with this Jack-of-All-Trades? They're having him feud with Billy Gunn. Billy...freakin'...Gunn. It could be worse, of course, but Noble doesn't belong in the heavyweight division. He should be cementing the struggling cruiserweight division.
Nunzio. Quick, agile, no excess pounds. Nunzio is the cruiserweight style personified. That says it all.
Spanky. I hope, good reader, that you have seen Spanky in his Ring of Honor matches. He is young, talented and seems comfortable on the microphone. When he debuted on Smackdown, he was wrestling greats like Kurt Angle. Today, he is a Velocity regular. Shame on you, bookers.
Tajiri. Stiff. Veteran. Psychological. Words that come to mind when describing Tajiri. He seems to move in and out of the cruiserweight division, though. With Eddie Guerrero vs. Tajiri already done, I don't know what is being planned for the Japanese Buzzsaw.
Ultimo Dragon. I recently read a rumor (take these for what they are) that the WWE is already disappointed with Dragon. They only have themselves to blame. Smackdown hyped Ultimo Dragon in a very Misterio-like fashion months ago. Yet, when it was time to push him towards the Cruiserweight Championship, the bookers somehow decided against it. Why? That's not a rhetorical question, by the way. I truly want to know why.
Rey Misterio. Easily the most over cruiserweight on Smackdown. Misterio may not be quite as incredible as he was in WCW, but to be fair, some of that is because he has been forced to adapt to the WWE style. As I mentioned, I'd like others in the division to receive some spotlight, but it makes perfect sense for him to be Cruiseweight Champion for the time being.
Billy Kidman. I can already hear the cries of internet fans screaming that Kidman is too "vanilla," and that they can't become excited about his matches. I find that to be a incredibly outdated point of view. The cruiserweight style is almost completely about wrestling and rarely about microphone skills. Also, allow me to get past the next criticism of Kidman. I know that his shooting star presses aren't perfect anymore, and I am aware it is no longer a unique move. I still don't believe that takes away from Kidman's obvious athleticism and experience.
This leaves us with Funaki, Shannon Moore, Zach Gowen and Chavo Guerrero. I won't get into Funaki and Moore since I believe Hell will freeze over before the WWE gives them the chance they deserve. Gowen still needs to prove himself. Guerrero is injured at present. I wish I could add The Hurricane, but they are content to leave him on Raw in his tag-team of the week.
In summary, there is so much untapped potential. Imagine a Smackdown that features a Cruiserweight Championship match every week. Twelve minutes on Smackdown and another on Velocity. That's all I ask. Twelve-minute matches for Misterio or Kidman or Nunzio or Moore to show us what they have. Twenty minutes on every Smackdown Pay-Per-View. A fraction of the three-hour time limit they are given.
Is that asking so much?